The Curious Diary of Ramses Niblek

Oh, I’ve got to tell this to someone, and you’re the most someone available right now, Diary. I got to see a vampire today! Seriously, a vampire! How lucky is that?!

He was such a curious person. His clothes were made from some of the softest and shiniest cloth I’ve ever seen. And he had a long cape. And he smelled a bit like bats.

He invited us into his home and my friends were so overcome by his generosity that they could barely speak! But he was so friendly and he kept trying to give everyone hugs. It turned into the most fantastic game of tag I’ve ever played!

After a while, I got thirsty, so I left the others in search of something to drink. Did you know that vampires love spiders? I sure didn’t. But his pet spiders were everywhere, and boy, were they chatty! Mostly, they were excited because they’ve never seen flies as plentiful as they are right now. I guess the spiders are good friends with the flies. Or something. I couldn’t quite catch what they were saying because they were all talking at once. I think a few of them said something about corpses.

Anyway, I found myself in the basement. At least, I think it was the basement. It was filled with the most fantastic furniture. I guess our host was storing it down there? It must have been pretty valuable, too, because it was all locked safely in little cages. Beds with chains and levers. Tall, skinny bird cages. Chairs with wooden screws in the armrests. Giant metal dolls filled with pointy spikes. I wonder why it was all in storage.

I didn’t find anything to eat, so I figured the kitchen must be upstairs somewhere. On my way to find a staircase, I saw a door with the most beautiful lock I think I’ve ever seen. Thankfully, our host had given me the key earlier in the night, so I decided to take a look.

You wouldn’t believe what I found! Among piles of gold and gems and endless locked chests, I found a snake! It was beautiful, too, and extremely curious. It followed me all around. It seemed like it wanted to play tag, too, but my tummy was grumbling. Not the usual grumbling either. No, it was more like a wide-mouthed frog late at night. So, I thanked the snake for entertaining me and left to find that kitchen.

Can you believe it? The kitchen turned out to be in a separate building altogether! I must say, it wasn’t well stocked, but I found some bottles of wine. I opened one of them with a jewel-encrusted dagger that turned up in my pouch, along with a little wooden statue of some fantastic creature I’ve never seen and three red pebbles.

Anyway, the wine was pretty good, so I drank a mug and thought the others might be thirsty, so I grabbed all the bottles I could carry and took them back to the party.

I’m not sure why the sun was up so early. Very odd!

I got back to my friends, and they must have been playing tag so hard because they were all out of breath and sweating. Such fun! I don’t know what happened to our host, though. I never did get to say goodbye. I wanted to look for him, but my friends seemed to be in a hurry to get back to the inn. I’ll apologize the next time I see him.