The Curious Diary of Ramses Niblek

Twenty years ago, I came into possession of a remarkable set of hand-written diaries. At the time, I didn’t realize the treasure I’d acquired. The volumes were merely part of a larger collection purchased from a quaint Oxfordshire bookstore that was closing its doors.

The diaries lay forgotten at the bottom of a large trunk filled with arcane books and peculiar artifacts, occupying my attention for many years. It was only by chance, while cleaning out my attic recently, that I rediscovered them. Opening the trunk, I was astonished to realize the significance of what I had previously overlooked. I’m sharing these diaries now because I have found nothing quite like them anywhere else.

We know almost nothing about Ramses Niblek III beyond what he recorded in his journals. Through careful reading and some forensic clues, we’ve surmised that he was a forest gnome who, improbably, found himself living in a sizable town approximately 650 years ago. Unfortunately, the uncertain provenance of the diaries and Ramses’ delightfully unreliable narration make it impossible to pinpoint precisely where he lived.

What we do know with certainty is that Ramses possessed a unique worldview. He seems to have been at the center of countless notable events—most of them now lost to history—though he wasn’t exactly “present” for any of them, at least not in a way most would recognize. His obsession with minutiae and almost insufferable optimism shaped his understanding of the world around him.

I’ve translated these diaries to make them intelligible to modern readers, but I’ve taken great pains not to editorialize or alter Ramses’ words. I leave it to you, dear readers, to make sense of Ramses’ curious world as best you can.